


Nothing Special

by cristalcut



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, non magical girl au, tw: suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 02:10:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cristalcut/pseuds/cristalcut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Homura Akemi is nothing special. But when her classmate, Madoka, saves her life, she is slowly proven wrong, and she is determined to return the favor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Special

Homura Akemi is nothing special. At least, she never thought she was.  
Fourteen years old and living alone, her parents too busy with work and constantly moving so they decided to leave her at home. No harm done, she'll go to school, we'll hire someone to look after her. Her nanny is a drunk ass-kisser, only sobers up enough so the parents let her keep working, but she hardly ever stops by. No siblings, no friends, and being catholic in a Japanese middle school, she wasn't especially welcome openly, once word got out.  
Homura Akemi would only describe herself as rather pathetic. Her vision is extremely poor, lacks strength, endurance, motivation, brains. But that could always be pointed at the fact she spent most of her life bedridden, thanks to the serious heart condition she was born with, another con to go in the whopping list. Of course, Homura would be prone to envy, eyeing the girls running and giggling together during gym jealously, or gazing at a particularly attractive girl at school, wishing she could have fuller cheeks, or at least have more color in them. Always envious of traits she could never posses, but never. Ever. Had she felt so overwhelmingly jealous of a single person. Not until she met Madoka Kaname. And that jealousy turned into a burning hatred.  
Madoka Kaname. Nothing about her stood out. Not her bright pink hair. Not her matching eyes filled to the brim with joy. Not her full and rosy cheeks. Not her red lips always curled into a smile. In fact, she was rather ordinary, plain face, behaved, rarely missed class, and got acceptable marks. Not at the top, not at the bottom. But what Homura envied so much was how beautiful she was to her. How her few friends were close ones, how they supported her and loved her. How she was USEFUL as the nurse's assistant. Homura herself only caused trouble, needing to be escorted by her daily, multiple times a day, to receive her medicine. How she HATED her pathetic need of assistance. How she hated how Madoka was so good about giving it to her.  
"Your name is so cool! It means flame, did you know?"  
Homura had sighed, "then I guess it doesn't suit me much.."  
"To have been blessed with such a cool name! You should become cool to match it!"  
And oh, how little she understood. She was not blessed, she could not just "become cool." Homura has and always will be a sick child. The doctors had proclaimed that at an early age, and had yet to take it back.  
Days and days of this torture, having Madoka in her class since her arrival at the school. The embodiment of Homura's idea of perfection practically waltzing her to the infirmary. The burning jealousy clawing at her chest, physically aching so much she feared the medicine was provoking an episode. It was unbearable. Madoka's pink eyes shyly meeting Homura's as she handed the nurse whatever she needs, flaring the icy hatred in her heart. How she HATED how useless she made her feel. How IMPERFECT. How PATHETIC. But eventually the hatred collapsed into something else.  
It started as a building pressure in her chest. A heaviness preventing her from getting up. And it's not like she was unable to get out of bed, she simply did not want to. It was impossible. Any motivation to do anything was gone. But laying there, eyes open and staring at the boring wall opposite to her boring bed, taking in the emptiness of the boring room, only made it worse. She had no choice but to think of how terrible Madoka made her feel. How useless, how lonely, untalented, unattractive, burdensome, helpless hopeless useless lonely untalented and point blank PATHETIC!  
Her sheets were off in an instant, door swinging open and left that way, not caring if anyone went in. Not caring if anyone saw. She felt nothing now, as she walked the empty streets. Her body was numb, and she was hardly processing the direction she took. Plodding along, her eyes trained on her feet, thoughts dark and dangerous.  
'You'll never be special, Homura'  
'Always causing trouble, aren't you?'  
'Even now, that's what you're doing'  
'Well, you'd be better off dead anyway, wouldn't you?'  
"Yes, better off dead," she whispered to herself, raising her head enough to look at the sunset. The sound of traffic came from below, the cool touch of steel wires beside her as she ran her had along the bumpy texture. Breathe in, breathe out. Eyes closed. In. Out.

Let go.

Violet eyes opened in shock and confusion as she was suddenly jerked backwards. Her glasses had slipped off her nose and fallen to their doom in her place, but she didn't care, the only thing on her mind was who her savior could be.  
"Don't do it, Homura, please!"  
A surprised gasp, "Miss Kaname?"  
Teary pink eyes gazed at her in return, "I-I saw you while I was walking home and I heard you say something and, and- oh, Homura please don't kill yourself! I couldn't stand it if you did!" Madoka buried her face in Homura's back, whimpering softly as she cried, arms tightening as if holding her close could make her more alive.  
And that was when her actions finally processed.  
"Oh my god! I was going to-"  
People on the bridge continued walking, eyes lingering on the crying girls.

Mami Tomoe is a third year, a new friend of Madoka's, who invited them in her home after the incident. Madoka had wanted some privacy and, worrying her parents would fuss too much to be comforting, took Homura to the older girl's apartment for some cake and conversation.  
"So, miss Akemi, are you feeling any better?"  
Homura replied with a nod, averting her gaze from Mami's and Madoka's. Especially Madoka's. "Yes, thank you. I don't know what went through my head when I decided I was going to-.. To..."  
Madoka took her hand gently, smiling warmly and shaking her head, "don't think about it, Homura.. You're here and I'll take care of you."  
Homura couldn't help but flush, her cold fingers trapped in slightly pudgier, warm palms. How could she have hated someone so full of love and care? Someone who noticed her when others just continued walking?  
Chocolate cake rested on her plate. Strawberry shortcake on Madoka's. Mami enjoyed a few cookies. The three girls ate in silence, Madoka's presence kind and insistent.  
"Homura.. Would you mind if I stayed with you tonight?" The silence was broken and teeth gently drew in a red bottom lip. The  
"I-in my home? I'm afraid there's not much to offer.. There's no guest room and I've left the door open... Someone might have gone in and trashed the place.."  
"Then can you stay with me? I feel as if I'd spend a restless night if I didn't know you'd continue safely.. A-and I want to take care of you!" Madoka leaned forward on her arms, eyebrows drawn together in concern. Homura lifted a hand to adjust her glasses, feeling a tad bit silly as she remembered her loss of them, and nodded slowly, averting her gaze.  
"If I'm not too much of a bother, I would be pleased to stay with you.." The response brought forth a shy grin, rose eyes returning to the strawberry flavored treat.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first long work that I've actually decided to work on and post and I hope everyone likes it! I'm still trying to figure out how I'm changing the style from it's original one to a more dialogue oriented one, but I'll figure it out!!!


End file.
